Steven james Tyler, "Spanners N' Lipstick"

"SPANNERS N' LIPSTICK"

AN ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY BY STEVEN JAMES TYLER

.........................Jack .............................................................Jack's East End neighbourhood...

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SYNOPSIS

‘Jack’ (25) Is a ‘Chav’ (British slang describing Rough Working-Class layabouts, most likely to be found in the dole queue or being interviewed on the Jerry Springer Show) . Jack’s a moody unpleasant guy who lives in the East End of London with his Catholic parents, ‘Mary’ his hypersensitive, sexually repressed mother who suffers from mild Tourette’s Syndrome, ‘Joseph’ his father who sits in complete silence after suffering a nervous breakdown and ‘Susan’ his ‘common as muck’ sister.

Life is hard and money scarce, after losing his job and his girlfriend, Jack and his family are faced with eviction from their home, so Jack gets involved with a gang of old mates who, with the leadership of wannabe gangster - ‘Dan’, are always looking for an easy way to make a dishonest living.

Dan’s latest idea involves taking secret pictures of unsuspecting women in the changing rooms of London’s premier health spa “London Angels”. Their aim is to sell the images of famous, high-class naked women to the infamously ruthless British tabloid press.

The only problem the gang face is ‘How to get into the spa to take the photos?’ After a few hilarious hiccups and as a last resort, Jack is forced to dress as a woman, go to the spa and take the pictures on a video mobile/cell phone.

Once inside ‘Tabitha’ a beautiful eccentric agent for Europe’s Top Model Agency “Beautiful People” sees Jack and thinks he’s the most unusual and interesting looking ‘Girl’ she’s ever seen. Tabitha promises Jack big pay cheques and worldwide travel with the most beautiful women on earth. Forgetting the major hitch that he is actually a man, Jack is aware of his famiy's impending eviction notice and so signs the contract and “Jackie” is born.

.......Jack..................................................................Jackie ........................................................."Beautiful People" HQ

.......... Jackie

Jackie is not like other models, ‘she’ has a muscular frame while her face is beautiful and androgynous enough, her body is still quite masculine "...Well look at Madonna, darling - arms like a bricklayer...!" . Because of a backlash against very skinny models in the European press, Political Correctness is dictating something new "...We're going from size ZERO TO SIZE HERO!..." Beams Tabitha.

Jack is immediately faced with problems he has to think fast to overcome. Because of this very reason the media’s attention is drawn to ‘Jackie’ when in front of a live TV Crew he refuses to wear a revealing costume at London Fashion Week. The press - already leading the backlash against Size Zero, champions Jackie as its spokes person for common sense. She becomes a new icon of Feminism and a roll model for girl power. Religious groups praise Jackie for setting a good example for girls and single handedly cleaning up the fashion world. Jack’s muscular ‘full’ and ‘healthy’ figure also gets praise, “..She'll have Kate Moss eating her skinny little guts out!”

Thanks to initial controversy Jackie becomes an over night sensation via media hype and attention. Jackie’s ‘interesting look makes her appealing to both men and women, she is androgynous – “...its very new millennium”.

Dan and the gang don’t recognise Jackie as Jack and think he has disappeared into thin air with all their money. Then by chance they discover his secret and decide to use his newfound fame to their advantage by staging a fake kidnap in order to obtain a large ransom. However things do not go according to plan. Jack's experiences gradually opens his eyes and changes him for the better, he is more rounded and sensitive to those he cares about.

A final twist in the story ensures nothing is what it seems and keeps the audience laughing and guessing until the very last scene - Will Jackie really be "outed" by a deranged and jealous Dan - Live on international television?

This film is a comedy ‘Brit flick’ set in present-day London. It contains surreal sequences and just a little bit of Magic accompanied by a strong sound track. There are comedic sub plots involving stalkers, an attempted rape, Jackie’s ‘Lesbian’ lovers and a fake gay boyfriend. The film looks at the overall problems of keeping such a secret whilst trying to cope with the trials of instant celebrity.

The story takes a cynical view of how the media so often ‘makes’ a star over night and then for no reason decides to ‘destroy’ them just as fast.

‘Spanners & Lipstick’ will be a fast moving, nail-biting, feel good comedy. There’s something for everyone; comedy, romance, sex, violence, loud music and explosive effects. Typically British, it would appeal to the mass American and British audiences alike and others the world over.

There is a large scope for high profile cameo appearances from the Fashion, Music and Movie Industries.

Because of the subject matter and location of this movie it has the potential to get sponsorship from a wide range of companies such as Calvin Kline, Jaguar, and British institutions such as London Fashion Week, London Arts Council and The Lottery Film Fund.

This film will last roughly 110 minutes and would be a (15) cert.

‘SPANNERS N’ LIPSTICK’

By Steven James Tyler

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